Returning to Strength After Babies: How I Reclaimed My Postpartum Athletic Identity
My Pre-Baby CrossFit Journey: Strength, Competition & Identity
Before kids, I was strong and competitive in CrossFit classes. I trained 4–6 days a week and checked the leaderboard daily. I pushed myself in workouts, challenged myself with weights, and loved working on gymnastics skills. I could Rx most workouts and rarely had to scale. My workouts were fun! More than just a good workout — it was a hobby and a huge part of my life. At 160 lbs of solid muscle, I felt powerful and strong.
Postpartum Fitness: Returning to Strength After Two Kids
Fast forward to after my second kid. I was okay with scaling every workout — weights and gymnastics skills alike. Lifting heavy felt so hard. What used to feel easy, like 65 lbs, now felt heavy. Pull-ups and toes-to-bar were out, and I was scaling to ring rows, banded pull-ups, and hanging knee raises. I wasn’t pushing myself, choosing challenging weights, or progressing skills.
I went for a “good enough” workout rather than actual progress. I was quiet in class, didn’t participate in competitiveness, and didn’t track lifts or check the leaderboard. I ignored 1RMs and went by feel. Skipping classes didn’t feel like failure — workouts just weren’t as fun anymore. I told myself I was in a different season of life and would get back to my old self when the kids were older.
My weight was 130 lbs — down 30 lbs of muscle. That was hard to see and feel. My clothes were too big. I didn’t look or feel like me. Yet people would say, “You look amazing! You don’t even look like you had kids!” Their compliments, though well-intended, stung. I cared about feeling strong, not being thin.
Returning to the Gym After Baby #1: Challenges & Lessons
After my first kid, I returned to 2–3 CrossFit classes per week instead of 4–6. I was consistent, but the return was long and challenging. I had lingering symptoms — leaking, heaviness, back pain — despite pelvic floor therapy and modifying movements. My routine felt more like me, but my workouts were frustrating. I felt like I had no guidance.
Returning to CrossFit After Baby #2: Overcoming Obstacles
After my second kid, I started strong immediately postpartum and knew exactly what to do. Within 3 months, I returned to high-impact workouts and decently heavy lifts — with no symptoms. I was thrilled!
But life with two kids was HARD. The baby wouldn’t sleep without me, and my older child had separation anxiety. Getting to the gym felt impossible. I wondered how other moms took kids to the gym and were successful, because I tried and it didn’t work for us. Eventually, I stopped trying to bring the kids and I accepted that morning classes weren’t in the cards for the time being and I focused on home workouts instead. Still hard to fit in, but at least I was moving.
I would go months without attending a class, then squeeze in a Saturday or Sunday session. Then I’d be back for a few weeks in the morning class. It was never sustainable. I always felt like I was starting over, never competitive, and didn’t belong. This made it easier to skip classes when the kids were awake or I didn’t get enough sleep — avoidance at its finest.
Why Compliments Felt Wrong: Losing Muscle & Athletic Identity
Hearing “I remember when you used to lift heavy” or “You look amazing. You don’t even look like you had kids” hurt. People didn’t know I had lost 30 lbs of muscle. I didn’t care about being lighter — I wanted strength.
I couldn’t do the skills I used to — pull-ups, toes-to-bar — and my lifts felt pathetic. Even a 65-lb barbell, once easy, had to be scaled. Turns out, I avoided the gym because each class reminded me I wasn’t who I used to be — that part of my identity felt gone. At the time, I didn’t even realize it.
The Mindset Shift That Transformed My Postpartum Workouts
A few months ago, while planning my social media content and 1:1 coaching program, it hit me: I deeply missed my pre-baby self in the gym. I felt lost. I wasn’t meant to be a casual workouter, but that’s what I had settled for. No wonder going to the gym was unsustainable. I was subconsciously avoiding it because it was a constant reminder that I wasn’t who I used to be.
How I Reclaimed My Strength & Athletic Identity Post-Babies
Once I realized this, I had a complete mindset shift and started training intentionally. I focused on toes-to-bar first — something I hadn’t prioritized since before my first pregnancy. Just 10–15 minutes, three days a week, and after four weeks I could do one rep. The body remembers.
I signed up for classes again and prioritized them. Kids awake at leave time? Husband handled it. Didn’t get enough sleep? I listened to my body and made real choices between sleep and workouts — and found myself choosing to workout more often than to sleep. I challenged myself more, stayed after class for skill work, and implemented more of my own accessory programming. After just a week back, I felt like myself again. Workouts had purpose and joy, even without my old numbers or skills.
Why Moms Struggle to Reclaim Their Athletic Identity
Motherhood is HARD. It’s easy to lose a part of yourself while caring for little ones. I missed the gym and my athletic identity, even though I’d been prioritizing myself in other ways, like personal growth and self-care.
Now, I’m on a journey to reclaim the athlete I once was — and to become stronger than before kids. Simply having training goals and working with intention has already made my workouts more fun and fulfilling.
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Don’t settle for feeling “just okay” in your workouts. You deserve to feel strong, capable, and like yourself again — and I’d love to help you get there.
Jess Schaffer
Functional Foundations Owner
Pregnancy & Postpartum Fitness Specialist